Death of a Salesmen (Maudlin)
When I was one and twenty
Plans working in my head,
My friends they were a plenty,
Now many of them dead.
Once nut brown soft and lovely,
Bloodshot now, life has fled.
Shady trees now mark his place,
Tear stained earth upon him,
Crying mother wipes her face
Somber songs pose as hymns.
To who not knows deaths embrace
Be prepared, for it you face.
As The Train Leaves the Station (Upbeat)
When I was one and twenty
To their great dismay,
The world it was my oyster,
Each city my buffet!
In and out of town and state
The people, the places,
Mine did see our country great
Journey for my minds delight
On a road less traveled
Destination, homesite.
Location, unscheduled.
Shoulda' Woulda' Coulda' (Mixed Drink)
When I was one and twenty
Did not know I at twenty five.
The years go by so briskly
Mine, a life I wish to contrive.
I live now, mistakes a new,
Remembering the ones who flew,
Learning things for future brews.
Would I of days so long ago
Smile upon my current glow?
Have I acquired skills to bestow
Or have I stunk to a new low?
All these queries are mine. Forego.
Plenty of energy in these, Emily. Some of the diction seems strangely old-fashioned or twisty, and that probably comes from the rhyming. I wonder if you could turn the first one into a powerful poem if you dropped the rhyme and piled image after image on top of each other.
ReplyDeleteAs for the happy poem, I like the first 6 lines, and then I get a bit thrown. Cool, though.
Any post on Yeats and Rosenberg?
I posted about Yeats and Rosenberg. Sorry it was a little late.
ReplyDeleteReally interesting diction in poem number one, I really like the old fashioned wording and beautiful imagery.
ReplyDeleteI'm loving the way you are working the rhyme. It really flows well and I like the word choice. They seem pretty well thought out.
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